too much expectation indeed.. (Tue, 8/9/15)

So, gw memulai hari kedua kerja dengan semangat. Baju, bekal makan pagi, udah gua siapin dari malem sebelumnya. Sip cus berangkat, sampe kantor pun masi bisa breakfast gitu 15 menit. Sampe meja pun 8.20 men (jadwal bilang 8.30).

Baca proposal si Prof. Lakshmin, sampe siang... ngikut Eunice ke Micro lab liat2 dia eksperimen. Lakshmin bilang, kalo ada pertanyaan apa langsung ke kantor nya aja. Wah gw langsung kalang kabut pokoknya. Pikiran jadi kacau, padahal gw uda punya acuan dan catetan apa yang mau ditanyain..

Dateng ke kantor dia, ehhh gw grogi, dan somehow muka si Lakshmin rada jutek gitu jadinya. Gw merasa salah... diriku oh diriku. Dan setres lah gw... merasa bego seharian. Yang gw inget dari perkataan dia itu adalah "attitude, move forward, sama study further". When I looked on his face, I was devastated somehow. Utterly sensitive oh dear me.

(talking about lunch though, it was a very awkward lunch wif Fang Hui and Hanxun. I hope I can talk more with them as the time goes on).

I went to talk with Nobi, telling all what happened to me today. Rada nyolot seperti biasa, tapi he got straight to the point : "masih hari kedua men, santai lah, namanya juga anak baru, masih cincai. lu masih hari kedua ga mungkin di expect langsung bisa. 2 minggu pertama cuma formalitas aja. So, santai aja. "

Yes. I am still new to SERI and all the environment inside. I was frustrated 'coz I can't talk with Hanxun and Fang Hui. Added with seemingly negative (I put 'seemingly' hoping I was totally wrong.) response from Lakshmin. Still a lot of hesitation ran all over myself today. Banyak yang mau gw omongin, but I don't even have the courage to mention it.

Prayer
God, thank You for the day that you have given to me, From the time I woke up, to the time I typed this post. Everything that happened to me seemed to be stressful, but yet I seemed expecting too much from myself, and disappointed because I could not reach that. Thus, bless me with Your grace, so that I can continue to live happily, work wholeheartedly, overcoming unnecessary stress, and through integrity and honesty, I deliver the best that I can. Let my effort in doing things is according to Your will, and I shall praise you in the glory of Your name. Amen.

Conclusion
Well, as Nobi said... too much expectation indeed. 

Note to Self 

• Anything, speak it confidently. 
• Anything, ask it promptly. 

Bye world.